i hope sindhuja never finds this (and i hope against hope that they find this, yet do not turn me away).

 (found this account after a long time, so in spirit of the common theme of vulnerability here on this blog, here it goes)

_______________

i wish they could see the way i see them.

auburn hair, softly grazing their neck. no poetic words for them – they leave me bereft of words, syllables remaining (like oh, mhm, ah, wow, iwishiwaswithyou, iwishwehadmoretime, donthatemebutithinkireallylikeyou). 

no syntax, no gerunds, no demands, no complications; i want to be your something, anything. build me the littlest paper corner in your plastic heart and let me reside there (i promise ill be quiet. i wont take much space - just enough, for you to feel the presence of my absence.)

i do not regret the transience, the moments stolen from clock's dogged linear march. 

(yet

somewhere, 

i find myself wondering incessantly, obsessively, like a madman stuck in bygones - futile wonderings of what we would have been; if august was a bit longer. if only, september came a bit later.)

   - mritha